Live Like You Were Dying

Things happen for a reason. Reasons often not recognized or understood by most of us. A few months after I had "hit bottom" in my life, I heard a song on the car radio several times and started singing along with the chorus. After a bit of time I asked my daughter if she knew the song. I found it was Tim McGraw. I looked up the lyrics and then I understood why I was singing it and what the message is. I needed to learn from my negative experiences. I need to work at becoming a better person. A better person for ME, which would then be a better person towards everyone else.

Yes, Tim explained it very well. I heard recently that a Vietnam Vet had made a statement many years ago very similar to You need to live like you were dying. I don't know if this is where Tim got his song idea from, but Tim wrote a wonderful lesson for us all. We need to love deeper (especially our selves), Talk Sweeter, Give forgiveness we've been denying (forgive OURSELVES)........

When all has seemed lost, families, self esteem, material things, things we had worked hard for, inability to manage our lives and we start crawling again, we appreciate the "little things" in life more than before. Admitting we need help and can't do it on our own. Things get better one day at a time! We have to take action, not just hope or pray for things to happen. That's part of Living Like I was Dying.

“To thine self be true…”

Alba Weinman presented the following statement that ties into my first writing about success and failure. This looks at it from another wise lady’s eyes… "People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. "People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." ~ Mother Teresa.

We must create our own attitude. We must strive to please ourselves, not just what we think others will lie and/or approve. The spiritual components of you must be involved. What Mother Teresa is saying, in my interpretation, is to grow your strengths from your inner self, not just what others direct you to do.

In order to succeed....

Bill Cosby made the statement, “In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

It sounds simple and easy to do. “I want to be a successful doctor”, “I want that job so, bad”,,,, the list goes on. How many times have we all said things like that, believing that our desires are so great that we WILL be successful at this quest? How many of us have achieved our dreams? How often when we haven’t gotten there had we been unable to figure out why? How many times did we figure the other person “must have been better than me”, or “I just have bad luck”? How many times did we ask ourselves what our role was in preventing the outcome from going our way? Could it be that many of those times we didn’t exert enough of the effort needed to succeed because we were afraid of not succeeding? I know I have.

Through a variety of recent life changes, I have begun to take a different look at myself and my life. I am learning to accept the facts that my parents, while truly trying to make me a better person out of their love for me, actually had the reverse effect. I heard often, in an attempt to motivate me, that I wasn’t working to my potential, or I could do better. They were right! A lot of things came easy for me, so I taught myself, unknowingly, to take the path of least resistance. Never did I realize that subconsciously, I was learning that I was a failure. Subconsciously I developed the attitude of “why try hard? You’ll probably not do it good enough anyway.”

Now I am trying to forgive myself. I am adopting a new attitude, one that includes not forgetting my past, but not living it either. I have been working essentially entry level jobs over the past several years. I made some major mistakes, had a bad car accident, and other similar negative events. I just realized that I am accepting these positions because I am afraid of failing if I try to build a better career. I use the excuses of the reviewers using check lists and my age and being over qualified as reasons for not achieving or Failing to Work up to My Potential. My attitude is being adjusted!

If I took the advice I give to others, I’d be better off in many ways. The main issue is, “I can’t be told no if I don’t ask the question. If I am told no, I’m no worse off than before I asked. But if I am told yes….” I must overcome the power of the fear of failing and increase my desire to succeed, or at least try!

This is my first attempt at writing a blog. I hope I’ve triggered some thought in others. I hope this blogging gets better too!

Thanks for reading!